Tackling Patterns of Negative Self-Talk

“You’re not good enough…. you’ve messed up before and you’ll do it again…. you weren’t chosen because they’re better than you, you’ll never be enough…” Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? Do you struggle with breaking the cycle of negative self-talk?
I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to wonderful women in my life tear themselves down with harsh words. Time and time again, I find myself overwhelmed and aching that they cannot see themselves the way I see them – valued, beloved, beautiful, worthy.

And then I hear the Spirit of the Lord whisper to me “darling, you say the same things.”  

Since I can remember, I have struggled with the way I view myself. I have a difficult time halting negative thoughts in their tracks, let alone changing the cycle. Every woman I’ve ever shared this struggle with has responded with confirmation “me too!”
I’ve spent countless hours praying for a clearer understanding and vision of the way God sees me. For Him to grant me the peace and ability to rest comfortably in my own skin.

Lysa TerKeurst shares healing words in her book, Uninvited:

“My identity must be anchored to the truth of who God is and who He is to me. Only then can I find a stability beyond what my feelings will ever allow. The closer I align my truth with His truth, the more closely I identify with God—and the more my identity really is in Him.”

 

The closer we draw to our Lord and Savior, the more we will find our identity anchored to Him and His truth. Lysa also says:

“the mind feasts on what it focuses on – what consumes your thinking will be the making or breaking of your identity.”

 

I don’t know about any of you, but for me, when I feel uncomfortable, anxious or insecure it negates my ability to be outward-focused. My thoughts become entirely self-focused, which is the antithesis of what I want for my life and what the Lord calls us to.

Imagine what this world would look like if we started to shift our perspective and change the dialogue if we began to hold ourselves, and those we love, accountable for the way we talk.

I’ve put together a list of four scriptures that help clarify our image and purpose as children of God.

 

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

 

Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good,            pleasing and perfect will.

 

Psalm 139:13-14

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.

 

2 Corinthians 3:18

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

 

I’ll leave you with one last thought, borrowing again from the pages of Lysa’s book:

“Inspiration and information without personal application will never amount to transformation.”

 

 

My challenge to you is this – commit to memory a verse that empowers your thoughts, engage a friend in a pact to stop negative self-talk, or come up with a goal of your own that helps you stay on track in this battle. Write the goal down in your journal, scribble it on a post-it and stick it to your bathroom mirror, plaster the words wherever you’ll see them most often.

Let the transformation begin!