Phone calls used to be easier to fit in the schedule. In fact, you didn’t really have to schedule phone calls like you do now unless you were some high rise corporate executive. This was all before Smartphones, of course. Before texting, emailing, facebooking, instagramming, and all the other “ings” that have made it easier to communicate with many, yet taken away from some of the value that is to be found in the one on one heart to heart conversations with good friends by voice and presence. There is value to be found in the face to face or ear to ear conversation.
Words are less calculated in the face to face and ear to ear conversations. With these kinds of conversations, what’s on the heart flows more organically into another heart that knowingly or unknowingly needs it’s own life pumping vessel to be given little bouts of CPR when heart to hearts happen.
Short or long written messages can be carefully crafted to speak life over others to be sure. But having an actual conversation with another human being that knows you, wants to know you more, and even wants you to know them more is something that cannot quite be captured on the keys.
As a busy mama of a toddler, I am always thwarting phone calls (especially business ones that can be put into an email) and protecting our family schedule. I cannot easily pick up the phone in the middle of my day, nor can many of my friends. Meeting up with a friend takes lots of effort and planning in reality. Phone calls and lunch outings take intentionality and scheduling to make room for a heart to heart.
Lately, I’ve found that as ludicrous as it sounds, sometimes it also takes courage to accept where I am in my day and to accept that the conversation may not have the loosey-goosey time allowances the once did, and to pick up the phone or grab a quick coffee with a friend anyway.
I still can’t take as many phone calls or jump in the car to meet someone for a latte like I used to, but more and more, I’m realizing that I need to add these sorts of opportunities for good heart to hearts back into my life. I bet you could benefit from these things, too.
Recently, I took two phone calls from friends that live hundreds of miles away that I’ve found difficulty in touching base with over the last few years. I knew the calls would be lengthy and would be interrupters to my day. But I also knew that they were good interrupters and that enough was enough– we just needed to catch up! I can’t tell you how refreshed, remembered, loved, valued, and poured into I felt after those calls. (I *think* they felt the same.)
The same thing happened when I dropped a meal by for another friend who had recently had her third child the other day. I didn’t have a week or two to plan that… I just had an extra pan of chicken alfredo that would go to waste in my home if I didn’t reach out to bring it to her home. In the mix, we had a wonderful 30-minute conversation as our children played and dealt with potty training. Both of us got a little heart resuscitation that day because of the courage of one to ask if she could stop by and the courage of the other to say “yes.”
Fellowship is a beautiful, life-giving thing. Often, through a good conversation, you can find encouragement in hearing that someone else has been where you have, truth by the ounce or by the pound spoken over you from another sojourner, a laugh that you didn’t know you needed, a new opportunity to meet someone else’s need, or even just an opportunity to catch your breath in the middle of your mundane and/or madness.
This month, I encourage you to pick up your phone or plan an outing with a friend just for the sake of catching up. You’ll be surprised by the value you find in having a heart to heart once again.
“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9
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